Friends, it's been an exhausting week. Monday was very rough, but each day has gotten progressively better. Did a bit of work yesterday for my consulting gig, and have been hydrating like hell. Have been a little groggy, especially in the evenings, but hope to return to a semi-normal work schedule tomorrow.
Yet among these rough days, I've had so many reminders of what an incredible support network I have. So yes, it's that time... a shoutout post! n.b.- this is in no particular sequential/chronological order, and I apologize in advance for any omissions.
First things first, I came back from my first chemo session on Monday and was overwhelmed to find an INSANE care package from my extended NYC + NOVA girlfriends. Skin care products custom-made for chemo, UBER gift certificates, make-up, oh my! :
The note was short and sweet– "You got this, we got you. All of our love." Made my heart melt. So– Nicole, Emily, Katie, Lauren, Allix, Martina, Elana, Bekah, Sami, Melanie, Brigid, Nic. G, Anna Laura, Marina, and Elizabeth... THANK YOU. Love you all so fricking much.
I also got an awesome chemo care package last week from Viky, Kevin, and little Layla, which includes some of the cutest socks I have ever seen. Thank you three, so much love to you!
In the above photo, you can also see BEAUTIFUL flowers that the Grant fam sent me over the weekend. Thank you Grants, love love love! You may see a few books at the bottom of the photo as well– my biggest brother Jeremy has been showering me with gifts and support these past few weeks. In addition to the aforementioned Sushi Go Party delivery that has been keeping us entertained, he flew in from LA on Sunday so he could hang around and help out during my first session. On Monday, when I was really in the dumps, he made a HUGE run to Whole Foods and stocked us up with plenty of great treats, as well as a beautiful bouquet of lilies.* In addition to the books and groceries, a big thanks to him and his girlfriend Crystal for sending me this lovely bonzai hydrangea plant that I will almost certainly kill:
Meanwhile, other brother Jon has been showing his support by making me very sweet Spotify playlists offering me connections to his celebrity hookups who have had breast cancer too (I'll leave the guesswork to whom I'm referring to YOU!) Jon's also going to fly in for session numero deux while his fiancé Katie will also be here for work. Very much look forward to seeing those clowns out east!
On the left of the above photo, you can also see a little terrarium that my PhD friend Magda gifted to me. Before I started my treatment, Magda and another PhD friend, Liz, brought me to an incredible blowout at drybar! Being the rough-and-tumble "intellectuals" that we are, none of us had ever had such a fun and frivolous service. Needless to say, we took to it very well:
Liz also gave me a sweet note and some dope Irving Farm coffee that I have been enjoying (in moderation!) So THANK YOU Liz and Magda for making me feel so special <3. Also thanks to David, Alexa, and little Helen for treating me to a great lunch and incredible goodies from Arthur Avenue a few weeks back. And to Em for taking me to a delicious dinner at one of of our BK faves, Miss Ada! OH and another really fun gift came before I started treatment from the Basile's (+Steve!):
Some of you may have seen me romping around with the same rickety old backpack I've had since day one of my PhD. Nicole and her fam must have sensed it, because the day my mom told me to clean up my act and just buy a new backpack, this dude came in the mail. I adore the color and it's got a few handy pockets that make it easy to transport docs to all my doctor's appointments and is also very handy for all my PhD related needs! And a special shoutout to Nicole for all the love and support, and for also coming with me to request my medical records at Columbia, picking them up and bringing them down to our place for me.
Then there is the mystery gift.... the coconut water gifter! Thank you for whoever sent me that. It has certainly come in handy! For future reference, mystery gifter, I've done a taste test of almost all coconut waters under the sun, and the best so far is the 365 Whole Foods brand. Just so you know.
Oh and a few days ago, I got a the loveliest little package and note all the way from Cali from my dear old friend Sami. Sami and I were lucky to be placed as freshman year roommates at NYU, and have tried our best to stay in touch ever since. Her family is no stranger to the struggles of breast cancer, as she lost her mom, Jeannie, to the disease a few years ago. Sami is also a true activist and has been organizing the San Quentin C.A.R.E.S. walk for a few years, where they bring the Walk for the Cure inside prison walls. Lovely NYC memories of Jeannie and good times with the rest of the Feld's have been on my mind SO much this past month. In a true California way, Sami honored her mother well and sent me some "healing stones" that I can take to treatment with me:
And the note that came with it brought tears to my eyes, sweet Sami. Sending you, Larry, and Zoe so much love and good vibes right now, and I feel the Cali love!
SHOUT OUTS: I also wanna give a shout-out to Elana's sister-in-law, Karen! Karen was diagnosed with breast cancer in her late 20s, and she reached out to me with such strength, support, and honesty. She has tackled any questions I've had in earnest and with positivity. We don't know each other very well, but this has connected us, and I am grateful for that! Thank you, Karen, and thank you Elana, for putting us in touch.
Another shout-out to my dear friend Allix! Allix heads up the pathology lab at MSKCC, and despite having been on maternity leave, she basically had a control center running when we were getting my care transferred over to Sloan from Mount Sinai. She pinged doctors when I was going through intake, and when we were getting me up and running, she had her staff walk over my slides personally from path to the breast cancer center. I feel so lucky to have someone so competent on the inside– I knew she was boss at her job but it was pretty cool to see it in action. Thanks Daowy!
I can't even enumerate how many of you have been so great about reaching out, checking-in, sending me love, and just seeing how I'm doing these past few weeks. I feel the energy from my network (and my network's networks!) coming from all corners of this globe. Surtout ma famille en France, qui arrete pas d'appeler ma maman, et vos messages sont top <3, merci les tontons et tatas et tous les cousins! Merci, merci, je vous aime trop!
Oh and there's my Grisha of course. I told Elizabeth that Greg is like my emotional support dog.** He makes me laugh and calms me down, and he has already dealt with some gruesome shit with his signature humor and good spirit.
I also need to thank my mother-in-law, Bela. Bela is a breast cancer survivor herself, but she underwent treatment back in Russia, right after the Soviet Union had just fallen and times were really rough. She has been sending us goodies, checking in, and has also been great at putting things into perspective. Back in Russia, she had to PROCURE her own chemo meds. Like literally bring them across borders. For her surgery, she needed to bring her own needles and gauze. I'm not kidding! She's a true warrior and has urged me to be strong and not wallow throughout this process. I may not take her suggestion to eat sour cream this week but I love her anyways.
And last but certainly not least, I was told I can't thank them, but my parents. Oh my parents! Not only have they rented a whole apartment to be near me, but they have assured us not to worry about anything at all. Also, my mom, who is an excellent cook, has basically been making me on-demand meals these past few days. To especially my mom- merci ma maman cherie, je t'aime a la folie.
You guys, I have no guises about this process- this whole journey has already been very challenging, and will continue to be so. But I feel SO DAMN LUCKY to be doing this with such an incredible army of people behind me. I really cannot imagine how other folks do this without the support that I have. My people are the BEST people. I love you all so damn much.
*For the PSFC members out there, Jer even asked if he could get a guest past to shop at our co-op for us without us! The answer is most definitely no, but the sentiment rang hard.
**Sloan Kettering being Sloan Kettering, Allix told us how there are ACTUAL emotional support dogs that romp around at the various centers. They even wear their own IDs with photos of themselves (dogs) on them. As Allix joked, they would like to inquire about their "RAWR-01K options."
Yet among these rough days, I've had so many reminders of what an incredible support network I have. So yes, it's that time... a shoutout post! n.b.- this is in no particular sequential/chronological order, and I apologize in advance for any omissions.
First things first, I came back from my first chemo session on Monday and was overwhelmed to find an INSANE care package from my extended NYC + NOVA girlfriends. Skin care products custom-made for chemo, UBER gift certificates, make-up, oh my! :
The note was short and sweet– "You got this, we got you. All of our love." Made my heart melt. So– Nicole, Emily, Katie, Lauren, Allix, Martina, Elana, Bekah, Sami, Melanie, Brigid, Nic. G, Anna Laura, Marina, and Elizabeth... THANK YOU. Love you all so fricking much.
I also got an awesome chemo care package last week from Viky, Kevin, and little Layla, which includes some of the cutest socks I have ever seen. Thank you three, so much love to you!
In the above photo, you can also see BEAUTIFUL flowers that the Grant fam sent me over the weekend. Thank you Grants, love love love! You may see a few books at the bottom of the photo as well– my biggest brother Jeremy has been showering me with gifts and support these past few weeks. In addition to the aforementioned Sushi Go Party delivery that has been keeping us entertained, he flew in from LA on Sunday so he could hang around and help out during my first session. On Monday, when I was really in the dumps, he made a HUGE run to Whole Foods and stocked us up with plenty of great treats, as well as a beautiful bouquet of lilies.* In addition to the books and groceries, a big thanks to him and his girlfriend Crystal for sending me this lovely bonzai hydrangea plant that I will almost certainly kill:
Meanwhile, other brother Jon has been showing his support by making me very sweet Spotify playlists offering me connections to his celebrity hookups who have had breast cancer too (I'll leave the guesswork to whom I'm referring to YOU!) Jon's also going to fly in for session numero deux while his fiancé Katie will also be here for work. Very much look forward to seeing those clowns out east!
On the left of the above photo, you can also see a little terrarium that my PhD friend Magda gifted to me. Before I started my treatment, Magda and another PhD friend, Liz, brought me to an incredible blowout at drybar! Being the rough-and-tumble "intellectuals" that we are, none of us had ever had such a fun and frivolous service. Needless to say, we took to it very well:
Liz also gave me a sweet note and some dope Irving Farm coffee that I have been enjoying (in moderation!) So THANK YOU Liz and Magda for making me feel so special <3. Also thanks to David, Alexa, and little Helen for treating me to a great lunch and incredible goodies from Arthur Avenue a few weeks back. And to Em for taking me to a delicious dinner at one of of our BK faves, Miss Ada! OH and another really fun gift came before I started treatment from the Basile's (+Steve!):
Some of you may have seen me romping around with the same rickety old backpack I've had since day one of my PhD. Nicole and her fam must have sensed it, because the day my mom told me to clean up my act and just buy a new backpack, this dude came in the mail. I adore the color and it's got a few handy pockets that make it easy to transport docs to all my doctor's appointments and is also very handy for all my PhD related needs! And a special shoutout to Nicole for all the love and support, and for also coming with me to request my medical records at Columbia, picking them up and bringing them down to our place for me.
Oh and a few days ago, I got a the loveliest little package and note all the way from Cali from my dear old friend Sami. Sami and I were lucky to be placed as freshman year roommates at NYU, and have tried our best to stay in touch ever since. Her family is no stranger to the struggles of breast cancer, as she lost her mom, Jeannie, to the disease a few years ago. Sami is also a true activist and has been organizing the San Quentin C.A.R.E.S. walk for a few years, where they bring the Walk for the Cure inside prison walls. Lovely NYC memories of Jeannie and good times with the rest of the Feld's have been on my mind SO much this past month. In a true California way, Sami honored her mother well and sent me some "healing stones" that I can take to treatment with me:
SHOUT OUTS: I also wanna give a shout-out to Elana's sister-in-law, Karen! Karen was diagnosed with breast cancer in her late 20s, and she reached out to me with such strength, support, and honesty. She has tackled any questions I've had in earnest and with positivity. We don't know each other very well, but this has connected us, and I am grateful for that! Thank you, Karen, and thank you Elana, for putting us in touch.
Another shout-out to my dear friend Allix! Allix heads up the pathology lab at MSKCC, and despite having been on maternity leave, she basically had a control center running when we were getting my care transferred over to Sloan from Mount Sinai. She pinged doctors when I was going through intake, and when we were getting me up and running, she had her staff walk over my slides personally from path to the breast cancer center. I feel so lucky to have someone so competent on the inside– I knew she was boss at her job but it was pretty cool to see it in action. Thanks Daowy!
I can't even enumerate how many of you have been so great about reaching out, checking-in, sending me love, and just seeing how I'm doing these past few weeks. I feel the energy from my network (and my network's networks!) coming from all corners of this globe. Surtout ma famille en France, qui arrete pas d'appeler ma maman, et vos messages sont top <3, merci les tontons et tatas et tous les cousins! Merci, merci, je vous aime trop!
Oh and there's my Grisha of course. I told Elizabeth that Greg is like my emotional support dog.** He makes me laugh and calms me down, and he has already dealt with some gruesome shit with his signature humor and good spirit.
I also need to thank my mother-in-law, Bela. Bela is a breast cancer survivor herself, but she underwent treatment back in Russia, right after the Soviet Union had just fallen and times were really rough. She has been sending us goodies, checking in, and has also been great at putting things into perspective. Back in Russia, she had to PROCURE her own chemo meds. Like literally bring them across borders. For her surgery, she needed to bring her own needles and gauze. I'm not kidding! She's a true warrior and has urged me to be strong and not wallow throughout this process. I may not take her suggestion to eat sour cream this week but I love her anyways.
And last but certainly not least, I was told I can't thank them, but my parents. Oh my parents! Not only have they rented a whole apartment to be near me, but they have assured us not to worry about anything at all. Also, my mom, who is an excellent cook, has basically been making me on-demand meals these past few days. To especially my mom- merci ma maman cherie, je t'aime a la folie.
You guys, I have no guises about this process- this whole journey has already been very challenging, and will continue to be so. But I feel SO DAMN LUCKY to be doing this with such an incredible army of people behind me. I really cannot imagine how other folks do this without the support that I have. My people are the BEST people. I love you all so damn much.
*For the PSFC members out there, Jer even asked if he could get a guest past to shop at our co-op for us without us! The answer is most definitely no, but the sentiment rang hard.
**Sloan Kettering being Sloan Kettering, Allix told us how there are ACTUAL emotional support dogs that romp around at the various centers. They even wear their own IDs with photos of themselves (dogs) on them. As Allix joked, they would like to inquire about their "RAWR-01K options."
Why doesn't Sloan Kettering call the support dogs Dogtors?
ReplyDeleteI'll show myself out.