Since I recently kind of got sick of not posting on social media about this huge part of my life*, I believe there are a few new readers joining us- if so, welcome! Thank you for being interested enough to join in for my ramblings.
So let's get this party started. Happy Thanksgiving weekend, everybody! Since my last post, I have been keeping on top of my daily radiation sessions- as of Friday, I've officially finished 11 of 25, or 44% of my treatments! It's been mostly uneventful/tolerable, but I did have a bit of a breakdown at my session on Friday. You see, every 5 days or so of treatment, my radiation techs** are required to take images of my chest wall. This involves me lying still, half-naked, and with my arms above my head in the exact same position on a very hard table for roughly an hour. Mind you, this would be very uncomfortable for just about anyone, but it is especially uncomfortable for someone not even 2 months out from a double mastectomy/axillary lymph node dissection. By the end of the session, I was so uncomfortable that I was shaking, and I started crying on the treatment table. When one of the radiation techs came to get me, I was full-on sobbing. He asked me if I was okay, and through my tears, I said, "It's just days like today when I feel like a body instead of a person." Now, as Greg and I have determined, as a profession, radiation techs don't seem to be the most emotionally intelligent bunch. His reply was "Well, that's sad!"*** All I could eke out in response was "Well, it's true!" I then left the room, walking past the 4 other or so techs, crying my eyes out. Nearly 7 months in, and I'm still surprised at what sets me off in cancerland.
That's the bad news. The good news is that nearly halfway through, and besides some soreness under my armpit, the treatments have been pretty tolerable! Throughout this phase of treatment, I have also been so lucky to receive a slew of gifts recently from old friends who recently caught wind of what I've been going through/are just still awesome at supporting me. Thanks to college/Carlyle friends Briana and Alan for a gift card to Miss Ada (one of my absolute FAVORITE restaurants), college/Carlyle friend Shaina for a lovely radiation skin care package, middle school friends Kathleen and Kayley for an Uber gift card and a card to Clover Club (one of my absolute FAVORITE bars), and to high school friend's SIL Karen, my young breast cancer survivor guru, who sent me a beautiful dish with a reminder of how fucking strong we are + a text that earned a post-it spot on my desk:
And what about Thanksgiving, say you? As some of you know, in recent years, we've been doing Cali Thanksgivings. But since I had to be treated on Wednesday and Friday (had a day off for Turkey Day), my whole fam came to Brooklyn for the holiday, which has been loads of fun. The day before turkey day, we walked from the east side (after treatment at MSKCC) to the west side:
The goal was to brave the crowds and see some of the Macy's day parade balloons start to be inflated, and did we ever! Here's a shot of Pikachu, arguably the most important helium friend of the day:
It was pretty neat. On Turkey day itself, for those of you who saw my Instagram story, you may know that we got into our usual antics, undercooked the turkey and had to put it back in the oven, and didn't eat until about 6:30 PM (which is still dreadfully early for us). We did use the time spent waiting to eat playing a rousing game of Ticket to Ride, though****:
When we finally did eat, there was salade cuite on the table, which makes for a true French/Moroccan/American Thanksgiving:
Oh, and I also made a bunch of sweets- the pumpkin cinnamon rolls came out the best:
Yesterday, in addition to making 3-4 people reconsider their profession at my treatment, I also went to PT in the AM and for a fancy lunch at Frenchette with these clowns:
It was really nice to spend some time with the siblings, and to eat that Paris-Brest à la Pistache. Last night, Jer headed back to California, and the rest of the fam had Shabbat dinner together. Luckily we have Jon and Katie in town for a few more days/weeks (Katie has work stuff here), and Jer is actually back on his way out to actual France next week. My parents are also sticking around a bit more too. Very thankful for all those supportive clowns this Thanksgiving, as well as for modern medicine, the people who care for me at MSKCC, and for all of you friends who keep cheering me on.
*You may be wondering, why so quiet on the social media until now, Val? To be honest, I'm not so sure myself. I think it has taken me a tremendous amount of time to process the enormity of what has happened to me in the last half a year or so. I am increasingly aware that even if I (hopefully) am nearing the end of intensive treatment, cancer will always be a component of who I am. It doesn't define me, but it is forever a part of me. And I'm really in awe of the young people who post publicly about their cancer experience, and it has provided me with some solace in my search for community in this process. So if I could pay that forward, I'll risk my anonymity.
**who, by the way, are mostly all 20- to 30-something attractive men.
***In retrospect, that reply really makes me laugh.
****For those keeping score, Jeremy won, and I came in second. I blame Jon for my loss.
So let's get this party started. Happy Thanksgiving weekend, everybody! Since my last post, I have been keeping on top of my daily radiation sessions- as of Friday, I've officially finished 11 of 25, or 44% of my treatments! It's been mostly uneventful/tolerable, but I did have a bit of a breakdown at my session on Friday. You see, every 5 days or so of treatment, my radiation techs** are required to take images of my chest wall. This involves me lying still, half-naked, and with my arms above my head in the exact same position on a very hard table for roughly an hour. Mind you, this would be very uncomfortable for just about anyone, but it is especially uncomfortable for someone not even 2 months out from a double mastectomy/axillary lymph node dissection. By the end of the session, I was so uncomfortable that I was shaking, and I started crying on the treatment table. When one of the radiation techs came to get me, I was full-on sobbing. He asked me if I was okay, and through my tears, I said, "It's just days like today when I feel like a body instead of a person." Now, as Greg and I have determined, as a profession, radiation techs don't seem to be the most emotionally intelligent bunch. His reply was "Well, that's sad!"*** All I could eke out in response was "Well, it's true!" I then left the room, walking past the 4 other or so techs, crying my eyes out. Nearly 7 months in, and I'm still surprised at what sets me off in cancerland.
That's the bad news. The good news is that nearly halfway through, and besides some soreness under my armpit, the treatments have been pretty tolerable! Throughout this phase of treatment, I have also been so lucky to receive a slew of gifts recently from old friends who recently caught wind of what I've been going through/are just still awesome at supporting me. Thanks to college/Carlyle friends Briana and Alan for a gift card to Miss Ada (one of my absolute FAVORITE restaurants), college/Carlyle friend Shaina for a lovely radiation skin care package, middle school friends Kathleen and Kayley for an Uber gift card and a card to Clover Club (one of my absolute FAVORITE bars), and to high school friend's SIL Karen, my young breast cancer survivor guru, who sent me a beautiful dish with a reminder of how fucking strong we are + a text that earned a post-it spot on my desk:
And what about Thanksgiving, say you? As some of you know, in recent years, we've been doing Cali Thanksgivings. But since I had to be treated on Wednesday and Friday (had a day off for Turkey Day), my whole fam came to Brooklyn for the holiday, which has been loads of fun. The day before turkey day, we walked from the east side (after treatment at MSKCC) to the west side:
The goal was to brave the crowds and see some of the Macy's day parade balloons start to be inflated, and did we ever! Here's a shot of Pikachu, arguably the most important helium friend of the day:
It was pretty neat. On Turkey day itself, for those of you who saw my Instagram story, you may know that we got into our usual antics, undercooked the turkey and had to put it back in the oven, and didn't eat until about 6:30 PM (which is still dreadfully early for us). We did use the time spent waiting to eat playing a rousing game of Ticket to Ride, though****:
When we finally did eat, there was salade cuite on the table, which makes for a true French/Moroccan/American Thanksgiving:
Oh, and I also made a bunch of sweets- the pumpkin cinnamon rolls came out the best:
Yesterday, in addition to making 3-4 people reconsider their profession at my treatment, I also went to PT in the AM and for a fancy lunch at Frenchette with these clowns:
It was really nice to spend some time with the siblings, and to eat that Paris-Brest à la Pistache. Last night, Jer headed back to California, and the rest of the fam had Shabbat dinner together. Luckily we have Jon and Katie in town for a few more days/weeks (Katie has work stuff here), and Jer is actually back on his way out to actual France next week. My parents are also sticking around a bit more too. Very thankful for all those supportive clowns this Thanksgiving, as well as for modern medicine, the people who care for me at MSKCC, and for all of you friends who keep cheering me on.
*You may be wondering, why so quiet on the social media until now, Val? To be honest, I'm not so sure myself. I think it has taken me a tremendous amount of time to process the enormity of what has happened to me in the last half a year or so. I am increasingly aware that even if I (hopefully) am nearing the end of intensive treatment, cancer will always be a component of who I am. It doesn't define me, but it is forever a part of me. And I'm really in awe of the young people who post publicly about their cancer experience, and it has provided me with some solace in my search for community in this process. So if I could pay that forward, I'll risk my anonymity.
**who, by the way, are mostly all 20- to 30-something attractive men.
***In retrospect, that reply really makes me laugh.
****For those keeping score, Jeremy won, and I came in second. I blame Jon for my loss.
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